When something needs to change, or doesn’t quite add up, we know it. It feels strange – like a shirt that’s a little too tight.
We adjust and it feels better for a moment, but our attention keeps coming back to it. It’s UNCOMFORTABLE.
So we talk ourselves out of what we KNOW, because we don’t know what to DO.
In the book “To Good to Leave, To Bad to Stay”, Mira Kirshenbaum explores what scientists call a “strange loop”.
It’s when two seemingly opposite things are true, making it nearly impossible to decide which one to choose.
Rather than putting all the pros and cons on a scale ⚖️ to see which one is best, consider taking a “both- and” approach.
For example: My boss can be a real intolerable jerk when she’s mad, AND I also really enjoy working with her because we get a lot done and usually have fun doing it”
Example: I feel miserably unhappy and stuck in my relationship AND I love the moments when we’re all together with friends & family laughing and having a good time.
What I want you to know is: this is normal.
We grow. Sometimes we outgrow. It takes courage and clarity to tell ourselves the truth about that.
What to do about it is important, yes. But for today, give your self the gift of saying out loud:
🌱I feel uncomfortable
🌱I want to feel better
🌱I’m afraid I’ll choose the wrong thing and regret it
🌱Whatever happens, I’ll stand by myself. I’m not sure how to do that yet, but I’m making that commitment to myself right now.
Wherever you are, wherever you go next, know you are so so loved.